varkat (varkat) wrote,

The Sillier Side of Vampires by Gail Carriger

I met Gail Carriger ( gailcarriger  ) at Worldcon in Denver last year.  We share an agent (yes, I have an agent who's not me to handle my work so that during business hours, I can concentrate on my clients), the fabulous Kristin Nelson.  Gail's steampunk series ranks high on my TBR pile.  If you meet Gail or reader her blog...or, more importantly, her work, I think you'll see why.

Hello Gentle Readers!
Many thanks to Lucienne for letting me kidnap her blog for the day. Without further ado, I present you with my take on . . .

The sillier side of vampires.

I have a confession to make - I've never taken vampires seriously. I know, I know, so shameful in a writer of urban fantasy. It's just that I can't get away from all the possibilities for ridiculousness inherent in Vampire lore. Here are some examples.

Age. Vampires live for a long time. Either they are going to be sadly old fashioned in their manners and dress as a result, or they will be like those 40 year olds who hang out with teens, trying to be hip, and failing miserably. Or, my favorite option, they'll be very, very bored with life and bound to entertain themselves in the most outrageous manner possible. This could extend to crazy sexual proclivities or a penchant for Vivian Westwood dresses.

Blood. I'm prone to feeling that just going for the neck and sucking would get dull after a while. How about mixing blood with champagne (the Pink Slurp), or taking one's tea with a dash of blood instead of milk? The possibilities for civilized behavior around the beverage are endless. Pancake syrup, anyone?

Teeth. OK, vampires are going to lisp. Perhaps not always, or even for very long, but at first any newly minted vampire lisps. Maybe he even drools a little bit. And certain musical instruments are right out. However, with training, a talented vampire might be able to emit a pretty darn piercing whistle.

Vampires around the world. In the Peruvian highlands there are white vampire-like wraiths, called pishtacos, reputed to wear wide-brimmed fedoras and steal fat from the living. Pretty scary if you're trying to survived winter in the Andes. However, can you imagine how well one of those creatures would go over in Hollywood? The Romans saw how bloated dead bodies got, and assumed they were filling up on the blood of the living. To stop these vampires, they (quite practically) suck a stone in the dead person's mouth.

Inter species vampires. So we've got vampire bats, why not a vampire weasel? Vampire beaver? Vampire platypus. The platypus stalks at midnight! Tremble in fear. You know you want to.

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure there's more. Don't even get me started on the utter absurdity possible in werewolves. Can you imagine a weregoat? Breaks into your house and . . . eats all your clothes! Gasp. The horror.

Gail Carriger's first book Soulless comes out through Orbit US in October 2009. It's been described as Jane Austen does steampunk, meets P.G. Wodehouse does vampires. It's a comedy of manners in an alternate Victorian London where the supernatural muck about and dictate the latest fashion.

"Laugh out loud funny and refreshingly different, Soulless kept me turning pages well into the night. I enjoyed every minute of this wonderfully unexpected twist on paranormals."
~ Angie Fox

Tags: gail carriger, soulless, steampunk, vampire week, vampires
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